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Internet Safety is Essential — Here's a great idea!

Ricky, age 10, uses the family computer in the living room where Mom and Dad can see what he’s doing. Ricky mainly enjoys playing online computer games and occasionally emailing his friends. Somehow one day Ricky stumbled onto a pornographic site. He quickly shut off the computer because he was so shocked. However, the next day when he got home from school, Mom was out shopping. Ricky’s curiosity motivated him back to explore a little more about those pictures left in his mind.

A few days later Dad was on the computer and happened to check the history
to find a site he’d been to before and was shocked at what he found. When he confronted his son, Ricky was apologetic and ashamed. He knew that looking at those pictures was wrong and he felt guilty.

The Internet can be a great place for kids to learn, be entertained, and to communicate with others. However, it also can be a dangerous place. With more and more children accessing the Internet these days it’s important for parents to understand technology and set the stage for productive computer time for their children.

Dangers include the obvious such as pornography, graphic violence, and foul language. Chat rooms may seem innocent but are often frequented by predators. Other more subtle dangers are also prevalent such as instant access to the latest styles and advertising that sucks kids into wanting more.

It’s unrealistic in our technology driven world to isolate your kids, not get a computer, or pretend you can avoid the Internet. Although you may delay your child’s involvement in the Internet, the reality of its presence in your home is inevitable.

We want to tell you how Ricky’s Dad handled this delicate situation but first let us give you some suggestions that you can use to keep your kids safe online.

1. Get an Education
Many children know more about the Internet than their parents. Kids today
have social network web sites, download music both legally and illegally, publish information about themselves that others can see, enter into online dialogue with strangers, and surf the Internet for the latest information both good and bad.

As a parent, you have to learn what’s out there and how the system works. You may find the Internet rather complex and daunting but you don’t have the option to ignore it. You have to get started and learn all you can.

2. Put the Computer in a Public Place
Children should not have private access to the Internet. The temptations are too great. The computer should be in a place where Mom or Dad can walk by and see what’s going on. Keep in mind that privacy is a privilege, not a right. Children on the Internet are faced with new and challenging temptations on a regular basis so close monitoring is essential. Parents should be able to read email and review sites that the child has visited.

Keep in mind that in this age of wireless Internet access, a child with a computer in a bedroom may have access to the Internet through the neighbor’s open Internet system.

3. Establish Accountability
You don’t have to be obnoxious about monitoring your children but kids need to know that what they are doing on the computer is being watched. It’s amazing how easy kids will say things through their fingers that they wouldn’t consider saying in person. Foul language and explicit discussions about sex are quite prevalent in online dialogue between young people today.

Check up on your kids often. Look at the history of the sites they’ve visited. If they’re deleting their history then you can assume something is wrong and take action accordingly. Read the emails they are receiving and sending. You don’t have to do this secretly. Your child should already know that accountability is required for Internet use.

If you’re not too savvy with a computer you may want to have a friend occasionally check the computer to make sure guidelines are not being violated and teach you to do the same.

4. Install a Filter or Some Other Safeguard Program
Filters provide a certain degree of safety by preventing access to offensive sites. Most filters allow you to choose the degree of filtering based on the age of the child. Install the filter and make sure that it is not being violated with some kind of technological work around.

The National Center for Biblical Parenting offers a unique Internet protection program that functions differently than a filter and is very safe for kids. It’s called Noah’s Internet Safety Browser. We’ll share more about it in the end of this letter.

5. Set Up Family Computer Rules
The needs, age, development, character, and maturity of each child should be taken into account as you set up guidelines for computer use. Some children shouldn’t be on the computer at all because they aren’t responsible enough to handle it. This doesn’t just involve visiting forbidden sites but also means wasting time or being consumed by particular games or entertainment.

Computer addiction can start very young so setting firm limits is essential for balance in a child’s life. Set up appropriate boundaries for your children and a system for monitoring them. Some computer safety programs have built in timers that allow parents to set limits on a child’s computer time.

Be ready to adjust the boundaries and guidelines based on a number of factors.
If the child is not being responsible in other areas of family life, is getting poor grades, or is developing some attitude issues, computer time may need to be reduced.

6. Dialogue about the Issues
Plenty of stories are in the news about people who abused the Internet and got into serious trouble. You might share some of those stories with your kids. Also, children need to understand the dangers so have conversations about your concerns. Don’t make the whole dialogue negative however. There are plenty of positive ways to take advantage of the Internet. Discuss those with your kids as well.

7. Use Technology to Build Relationship With Your Kids
Sending email to your children can open dialogue that you might not have otherwise. The same is true for using text messages on a cell phone. Kids today love to communicate using technology. You can join into the communication by understanding how the various tools work and then using them to interact with your kids.

Keep in mind though, that technology can’t take the place of personal face-to-face contact with your children. Take your child out for ice cream or sit on the couch and talk. The Internet has a lot of advantages in our society but nothing takes the place of spending time together.

Ricky’s Dad’s Response
Ricky’s dad sat down with his son at the computer and confronted him about the sites he had visited. Ricky began to cry. Dad used the opportunity to talk to his son about asking God for forgiveness and then they prayed together. Dad went on to talk about the need to set up personal standards of morality. “Son, this is an issue all men can be tempted with, and it’s very damaging to relationships and to a person’s heart. It’s important for you now to develop the ability to say no to temptation and set some personal boundaries to protect yourself.”

Dad was also quick to call the National Center for Biblical Parenting. When he
did, he learned that we have a new product we want families to know about: Noah’s Internet Safety Browser. Noah’s Internet is much more than another filtering software application. It’s fun!

According to recent studies, 76 percent of parents say they would like to make the Internet a safer place for kids. With Noah’s Internet Safety Browser you’ll know that your kids are staying in a safe and wholesome environment while they’re on the Internet.

Noah’s Internet Safety Browser is different than other Internet safety products. Instead of trying to filter out the bad, Noah’s Internet works within a closed community of about 10,000 chosen sites. That means that the search engine only finds web sites in the approved list. This feature alone provides more safety for your child. Of course, the web-based parental controls allow you to add new web sites to the list for your child whenever needed, and from any computer, not just the one the child is working on.

Predators are out there trying to make contact with children. The spam-free, buddy controlled email program of Noah’s Internet allows parents to determine with whom their children are interacting. You can rest assured that no unwanted guests are sending email to your kids.

An Additional Benefit
“My kids won’t get off the computer,” is one of the greatest complaints by parents. Kids forget their chores, don’t do their homework, and get engrossed with their Internet activity. Although it’s important for parents to set limits on a child’s computer time, Noah’s Internet Safety Browser provides some fun features.

An animated character, Noah, interacts with your child during the Internet experience. He reminds kids about chores, speaks encouraging words, and even asks Bible Trivia questions. These comments can be added to the system by the parent from any computer because the parental controls are web-based. That means you can even make adjustments from work so that Noah says “You did a great job at the soccer game last night.” Noah can also read a child’s email to him and generally guides the child throughout the online experience.

Kids love Noah’s Internet Safety Browser. But one of the greatest advantages is the peace of mind provided to parents who have their children surfing the web in a safe environment.

Here at the National Center for Biblical Parenting we are committed to supporting parents by providing valuable tools. We want to explore the possibilities that are out there and then recommend excellent resources for parents. Our work continues because of the faithful support of people like you.

Would you please consider a financial gift to the National Center for Biblical Parenting? Your gift of $25, $50, or even $500 would help us continue the important work of helping parents as they are involved in the toughest job
in the world – raising children.

You may obtain Noah’s Internet Safety Browser online at www.biblicalparenting.org/noah.asp or you can include your order in the envelope provided here. Be sure to include the email address you want us to send the download instructions to.

Thank you for your financial support. We are grateful to you for being used of the Lord to support this work.

Blessings,

Dr. Scott Turansky                                   Joanne Miller RN, BSN

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The National Center for Biblical Parenting is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and your gifts are tax-deductible.

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