What Parents Learn
Watch this video to see one and a half minute clips of
every session in the video series.
Each video has approximately 35 minutes of running time.
With the discussion questions each lesson can last
from an hour to an hour and a half. Here’s a summary
of each session.
Moving from External Prompters to the Heart
The heart prompts children from the inside but most kids
rely on parental prompters to get things done in life.
God has designed the heart to contain two things that
will provide internal motivation for a child, the conscience
and the Holy Spirit. The conscience works in four areas,
do what’s right, deal with wrongs, be honest, and care
about others. There is a way to parent that trains the
conscience and makes it a useful tool in a child’s life.
The word conscience is used over 30 times in the New
Testament illustrating its importance and the need for
parents to consider it. The first of 21 parenting strategies
is revealed entitled “Tighten Your Action Point.” An
action point is the point, when giving instructions,
where they stop talking and take action. Children who
are allowed to ignore a parent’s instruction learn to
ignore the internal promptings of the conscience as well.
Parenting needs to focus on the heart and not on simple
Internal Prompters and the Conscience
The Holy Spirit and the conscience are two different
things. The Holy Spirit is a person and provides power
for transformation. The conscience is an indicator and
prompts children internally. The biblical basis for four
parts of the conscience is developed further and parents
are encouraged to incorporate conscience development
in their parenting. In particular, what parents say and
how they say it is important for conscience development.
Furthermore, building a spiritual relationship with children
helps kids realize that God is real and a very important
part of everyday life. A focus on the conscience in parenting
can produce significant results.
Doing What’s Right Starts with Convictions
Children already have convictions but many of those inner
beliefs are wrong and need adjustment. For example, some
children believe that when Mom gives an instruction,
they ought to be able to get to the next level in the
video game before responding. Parents have the God-given
responsibility to help their children develop godly convictions.
That often happens by teaching children about the convictions
behind family rules. The rules may change over time but
the convictions remain the same. Children also need to
see that the Bible is exciting and relevant for their
lives. Parents are the primary spiritual trainers of
their own children and can do this part of their job
most effectively by using activity to teach spiritual
truths. This session focuses specifically on helping
children do what’s right.
A Strong Conscience Helps Children Care About Others
Jesus’ compassion often led him to take initiative to
care for others. Many children tend to be self-focused
and some work in the compassion area can get them thinking
outside themselves. One of the areas of the conscience
is caring about others and it’s prompted by the emotion
of compassion. In this session parents learn practical
ways to help their children move from selfishness to
unselfishness. Honor is an important quality and God
teaches that honor is learned in the home. When children
learn honor they treat others as special and they learn
to do more than what’s expected. In this session parents
learn how to help their children take initiative instead
of relying on parental prompters to care about others.
Developing a heart of compassion in a child can be a
challenge so several practical suggestions are provided
The Conscience is a Tool for Clearing Up Offenses
Many children don’t have a plan for dealing with offenses
and resort to blaming, rationalizing, or deflecting fault.
Guilt is a God-given emotion that prompts a child toward
repentance, but the process usually starts with correction.
Helping children value correction is an important parenting
strategy. Of course, that process needs to start with
parents, who often view correction as an interruption
to their lives instead of seeing the opportunities it
provides. Furthermore, parents can help their children
with a way to think rightly about offenses and how to
make wrongs right. Three questions and a statement are
offered as a technique that embodies a biblical concept
of repentance that can be used at the end of every correction
time. The fact is that all have sinned and need a clear
conscience. The Bible teaches in Hebrews 9:14 that the
blood of Christ ultimately cleanses the conscience. Parents
who haven’t yet committed themselves to Christ are encouraged
to do so in this lesson.
Honesty is Foundational to Relationships
One of the areas of the conscience has to do with honesty.
Beginning this session with a lie detector test, parents
learn that honesty can be complicated at times. If that’s
true for parents then it is certainly true for children
as well. Several practical strategies are provided for
parents to help children value integrity and it starts
with some teaching about how to be truthful in challenging
situations. Children who are dishonest need more accountability.
Four benefits of the integrity package raise its value
level in the minds of children. Dishonesty always occurs
under pressure and children who are dishonest are weak
on the inside requiring a multi-faceted approach for
training. Honesty is foundational for all relationships
including our relationship with God because honesty breeds
trust. Teaching honesty is an essential part of parenting
and this session provides several practical tools for
developing it in a child’s life.
The Power of a Clear Conscience
There is a way to parent that increases the effectiveness
of the conscience in children. Of course, accepting God’s
forgiveness through salvation is the greatest gift for
any conscience, but obtaining a clear conscience doesn’t
stop with salvation. Paul says, “I strive to keep my
conscience clear before God and man,” revealing the work
necessary for all people to protect their own consciences.
Parents can do a lot to help their children experience
a clear conscience. By ending instructions times well
children can feel a sense of accomplishment. By ending
correction times well children can feel a sense of forgiveness.
By caring about others children can feel the satisfaction
of contributing. All of these positive feelings are the
conscience in action. But feelings come and go and aren’t
the basis for action. Instead, doing the right thing
because it is the right thing to do is important whether
one feels good about it or not. Many of those positive
feelings are the natural result of being obedient to
God. When children have a clear conscience they are more
useful as God’s servants. God uses ordinary people to
do great things. Our job, and the responsibility of our
children, is to be available and obedient to him.
A 30-Day Plan for Change
Many children are challenging and need extra love and
guidance. When children have Attention Deficit Disorder
or some other neurological behavioral challenge for example,
they need hope to face life every day. Providing that
hope is a parent’s job and God has a specific prescription
for hope found in Romans 5:3-4, “Suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character; and character, hope.” This session
helps parents develop a plan to help their children deal
with the suffering of life and produce the character
necessary to face that suffering. Many children need
to raise the character threshold in their lives in order
to handle the challenges they face every day. Using a
five-part plan, parents can put into practice the strategies
they’ve learned in this series in a way that produces
significant change in their children. It’s never too
late to start fresh and new. God is at work in the lives
of your children. Your job is to equip them with the
tools necessary to face life. This session shows you
how to develop the plan.