to our Single Parent Ministry. It's our desire to provide
a place for you to learn and grow. My name is Linda Ranson
Jacobs and I head up the Single Parent Ministry for the
National Center for Biblical Parenting. Learn more about
my story here.
It’s hard enough to raise a child with
two parents working together. As a single parent you
have additional challenges because you’re either doing
this alone, or you may even have the other parent working
against you. You need as many strategies as you can get
in order to maximize your family dynamic. Here are some
suggestions that might help you as you continue on your
who are growing up in a single parent home need help
redefining what family is for them personally. The concept
of a team is often helpful. “We’re part of a team and
we need to stick together, work hard, and enjoy our relationships.”
That mentality needs to permeate the single parent home.
One of the ground rules should be honor. Honor provides
a working relationship between you and your children.
You can learn more about how to develop honor in your
family by reading the book Say
Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, in
You and Your Kids or listen to the CDs by
the same title. In fact, we wrote that book with single
parents and blended families in mind. Each chapter contains
at least one illustration of a single or blended family
because we know that honor is especially important in
2) Get Christian
leaders and other authorities involved with your kids.
Children need to hear about values and truths from other
adults besides you. Furthermore, they need to see how
others are living out their faith and need to dialogue
with different people about biblical truths. Sunday school,
youth group, and other church activities should be required,
not optional. Sports, music, and school can often provide
key role models for your kids. Look for ways to expand
your circle of support to include more nurturing relationships
for your child.
who spend some time at Mom’s house and some time at Dad’s
house often find themselves in binds because they hear
one set of rules from one parent and another set from
the other parent. You can help your child sort these
things out by talking about the values behind the rules.
You have convictions that result in rules for your family.
Those convictions are so important because they are a
reflection of your heart. That’s what you want to pass
on. Talk about values and convictions regularly. Yes,
you’ll have to require rules about cleaning up, not eating
junk food, and avoiding certain entertainment choices,
but explain why. Those discussions will produce lasting
impact because they focus on convictions and values.
Never underestimate the power of your influence on your
child. Your convictions and your relationship go a long
way to help your child be prepared for life and wise
choices along the way.
4) Two CDS
that are especially helpful are Single
Parenting Tips and Ideas and Single
Parents – Setting Goals, Moving Forward. Both of these CDs take into account the specific
challenges single parents face. They are available in
both CD and MP3 format for your convenience. We also
have CDs for leaders of Single Parent Ministry. One that
you’ll find helpful is Leaders
– Caring for Adult Children of Single Parents, a fascinating study of children who’ve
grown up in single parent homes. Another talk for leaders
is Leaders – How
to Run a Single Parents Retreat, giving
you many practical ideas of ways to make a retreat work
in your church.
created a CD series just for single parents. Although
you’ll want to look at the other resources we offer about
discipline and the child’s heart, we know that you face
unique challenges as a single parent. Dr. Scott Turansky
and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN address these specific challenges
in the CD series Single
Parenting. Turansky and Miller talk about five
common mistakes single parents make, and how to avoid
them. They also talk about the complexity of relationships
and teach you how to equip your kids to deal with binds
and triangles. We also have a single CD by Drs Jeff and
Judi Parziale entitled, Five
Keys to Successful Single Parenting. Within these
resources you’ll find some important solutions that will
help you navigate through the issues single parents face.