"I'm Not Giving Energy to this Problem"
By Linda Ranson Jacobs
1 Samuel 12:16, “Now then, stand still and see this
great thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.”
Ever have one of those days when your child decides
to throw a temper tantrum? This can come in the form
of crying, kicking, and screaming for younger children
or stomping off and slamming doors for a teen. Many times
the tantrum comes from deep within the child and has
absolutely nothing to do with you. Did you read that
right – nothing to do with you? Yes, that’s what I said.
As single parents we tend to take on guilt. We get bogged
down with the “if only-s.” If only his dad hadn’t treated
him that way. Or, if only I didn’t have to work so many
hours, he wouldn’t act like this. So we take what little
energy we have left at the end of the day and we spend
it all on the tantrum in front of us.
There are times we need to step back and watch how the
Lord is working in our children’s lives. We need NOT
take ownership of the child’s dilemma. My friend’s son
worked hard at memorizing scripture for a program at
church. Her daughter, on the other hand, didn’t want
to be bothered by all the work. This mom encouraged her
daughter but didn’t do the work for her. She didn’t nag,
coerce, beg, or plead.
On the night of the awards ceremony, her son received
his awards. When they got home the daughter started acting
out, stomping around, being silly, and demanding attention
from Mom. This mom simply said, “Bree, I’m not giving
energy to this problem. You need to go to bed.” She didn’t
apologize and say, “I’m sorry you didn’t get any awards.
Maybe next time.” Or, “I know, it’s not fair.” Or “Well,
you are younger than your brother. They shouldn’t expect
so much from you.”
The next morning the daughter came to breakfast and
said to her brother, “I’m sorry how I acted last night.
I was jealous you got honored and I didn’t.”
Remember what the mom had said, “I’m not giving any
energy to this problem tonight.” She gave her daughter
time alone. She didn’t take away from the work the Lord
was going to do in this child.
1 Samuel 12:16, “Now then, stand still and see this great
thing the Lord is about to do before your eyes.”