Where is the Best Place for Me to Start?
to the National Center for Biblical Parenting. We’re glad
you found us. No matter why you’re here or what issues
you’re facing with your child, you want to start with the
heart. For many, that’s a new way of thinking. Sure, it
sounds good but what is the heart and how is parenting
from a heart perspective different than what others do?
Those are good questions. The reality is that most of
us were raised with behavior modification. Behavior modification
is a strategy for working with kids that says things like,
“If you clean your room, you can have a friend over” or
“If you finish your homework, you can go out and play.”
Basically behavior modification says, “If you do what I
say, you can have what you want.” This external rewards
approach to changing behavior appeals to and encourages
a child’s selfishness. It’s not long before children figure
out the system and say, “What are you going to give me
if I do what you say?” or they asked the question, “Will
I get paid for this?”
Discipling Parents in the Art of Heart Work
a different way to think about parenting. It starts with
the heart. The heart contains the operating principles
of a person. In fact, we did a study of over 750 times
the word “heart” is used in the Bible and we asked the
question, “What does God say the heart is and how do we
parent our children with a “heart” perspective?” The study
revealed a number of significant differences between a
behavior modification approach and a heart-based approach
to parenting. If you’d like to read more about that study
and its results, take a look at the book Parenting
is Heart Work.
In addition, the Heart
Work Training Manuals and CDs provide
you with hands-on strategies to address the most common
interactions in parenting. Use this curriculum for yourself
or meet with another parent to grow together. You might
even want to disciple other parents who want help. This
curriculum is a great tool for developing a new way to
think about parenting.
You’ll learn how to help children
develop positive heart qualities as you interact with
them in the daily routines of life. The way you give
instructions, correct children, and help them accept
no as an answer all have implications for heart development.
You’ll learn about attitude, how to change what children
believe, and how to connect with your kids on a heart
level. When parents ask us, “Where do I start with your
materials, we recommend the resources that address the
heart. You’ll likely want more strategies and ideas but
it’s best to start with the heart to see lasting change
in your child’s life.
One of the great rewards of working on the heart is that
you’re preparing children for life. The strategies we develop
for children take adult solutions and break them down to
the developmental stages of children. So as you use our
resources you’ll be helping children develop life-long
skills and patterns.
You’ll also see that we use the scripture throughout our
resources. We do that because we believe that the Bible
is rich with practical truths for family life. If you’re
not accustomed to using the Bible to help you with family
issues, you’ll want to do so. The Bible has a way of changing
a child’s heart because it addresses beliefs. It’s Hebrews
4:12 that says, “For the word of God is living and active.
Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even
to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges
the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Spend some significant time in prayer for your child.
We recommend that you pray for your child everyday. As
you do, you’ll see God work in your child’s heart and you’ll
find yourself better prepared spiritually to face the challenges
of the day.
As you look around our site, we pray that God will bring
you to the right resources to help you in your situation.
If you have any questions, please feel free to give us
a call and we can guide you to the solutions that may be
best for you.